Heartbreak – How I Feel Now

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Oh my God this is some cheesy ass cliche topic. EVERYONE talks about this… which is why I’m gonna talk about it too. I mean, like, I’m not gonna lose anything since no one’s gonna read this anyway. In this post, I’m just going to write about my feelings about it just so I can FREAKING POST SOMETHI – Moving on.

I’m not going to talk about how or when exactly it happened. But I only wanna ask myself this very important question, how do I feel now?

It’s been over 5 months since that incident and to think that I still think about it until now is utterly ridiculous. As much as I thought I was gonna be devastated with that incident, I’m not. You see, when I watch other people breaking up, they all suffer the dilemma of not being able to spend the rest of their lives with the other person. In my case, it’s actually extremely easy to accept the fact that I’m not going to be with her in the future. Seriously, I think I accepted that fact 30 seconds after she declared it. I mean, I can’t control her or her feelings so why should I be sad of things that I can’t control. Of course I did feel heartbroken but it wasn’t extensive and it wasn’t long. I was TOTALLY OKAY with her not being by my side for the rest of my life.

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I’ve Finished My Internship

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I’m finally free!!! When I first joined the internship program during the first week, I asked myself “how in the world would I survive 12 weeks working here?” because you see, the work is really not what I expected. Because I don’t know how the working world works, with all their different departments and stuff, I got thrown to the Business Events Unit Department. It has A LOT to do with calling and planning events but little to do with writing. But I just forcefully faced it until the end.

Here’s a story.

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My Writing Problems – Solution

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Yesterday I fessed up how I feel about my writing. However today, I suddenly thought of a few solutions so let’s go through them.

Write a blog post in one go

Okay I think I found out that I need to write my essays in only one go. If I write little at a time, I’ll lose the flow and the overall feel of the essay and it will also be incoherent. If I don’t have enough time to write in one go, I at least have to write enough to be able to have an overall direction of the essay. This is because I can’t afford having bits and pieces of my idea being written but the next time I visit my writing again, I have no idea what I was going in for. If I finish writing in one go, I could just improve the essay next time when I visit it again.

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My Writing Problem

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Okay be warned this is majorly gonna be me rambling. Let’s start.

I have a serious problem with my writing. Well not my quality of writing (though I admit I have to work on that too) but rather the productivity of my writing. I just don’t write much. The first reason why I lack productivity is because whenever I want to write, I’ll always feel sleepy.

I want to write something deeper and more complex. Something with facts and opinions instead of just expressing my feelings and thoughts. However those types of writing require research and a fresh brain. A brain fully functional and definitely NOT sleepy. However, I can’t seem to do that because whenever I try to write in the office (yes, that means I slack off because I literally do nothing anyway), I’m always sleepy. My brain is not functional enough to read stuffs and pour my newfound knowledge on paper. Even now, I’m just vomiting my incoherent thoughts, I still feel super sleepy. I have to actually move my chair and my body around just to keep me awake. Plus in the office, whenever my colleges are near me, I have to quickly and immediately act like I am doing my job. Yes I know I’m a horrible human being.

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Story Idea One Year One Day/Week

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I have a request. Can someone PLEASE write a story about two friends who can only meet for one day/week a year on the very same day/week of the year. Preferably a guy and a girl and preferably having romantic development.

So make it one year, one chapter. So maybe start the story as early as when the characters are 10 years old until 30 year old? 20 chapters total?? All the events must be during the day/week that they met but flashbacks are allowed.

So yea write a story of these two characters being closer and closer each year and eventually… form a relationship?? The reason why they only meet one day/week a year is because they can only meet during a certain festival period. Okay you see, this story idea of mine was inspired by… Eidil Fitri. It is a Muslim celebration right after we fast for a month and of course, it is celebrated once a year. So at that time, most people will go back to their hometown and visit most of their relatives. During that time, we’d meet our distant cousins or neighbours of the cousins. We mostly don’t talk to them much because we’re not close, of course. But I thought, let’s make a fiction where these two people actually talk with one another and are considerably close. That’s… that’s my fantasy, yes.

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What It Really Means To Be ‘Open Minded’

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what do you think it means to have an open mind?

Being open minded is not “oh I can talk about sex or anything taboo with the other gender no problem” or “oh I don’t really mind people watching porn, that’s totally okay for me,” those actions do not define being open minded. Well yes, it’s good to be able to have an in-depth discussion about things that people rarely talk about, and it’s also good to accept people regardless of how bad they are. But that’s not wholly being open minded.

Being liberal doesn’t necessarily mean being open minded. Being conservative doesn’t necessarily mean being close minded. Just because person A is okay with same sex marriage doesn’t necessarily mean the person is open minded and just because person B is not okay with same sex marriage doesn’t necessarily mean the person is close minded. To really know who is open and who is not, bring the two people together and have a talk. The one who can’t tolerate the other person’s value is the one who is close minded.

Being open minded is being able to consider other people’s values even if they’re different and doesn’t fit into our own preconceived notions. It is the ability to not judge the other person as wrong even if their values and ideas differ from ours. It is the ability to understand their reasons for the values that they hold. The ability to acknowledge that our views too might be flawed and that there may be other views which are ‘better’. It is basically the ability to agree to disagree.

Of course, we don’t have to agree on those views that other people hold, but be considerate towards them.  That, I believe is what keeping an open mind is all about.

Mobile Phone is Haunting Me!!!

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I hate phones. Or rather, I hate it when it notifies me when I don’t want to be notified. Messages in the wrong moments….haunts me. Let me list down a few major time when I feel like I’ve been haunted by phones in my daily life.

Haunts me at night

I HATE it when people talk to me about work… after work. Work and life are totally separate things and I want it to be separated. Merging those two is really not an option  and I despise it. This is one of the reason why one, I can’t be a teacher and, two, I can’t handle online business. If I was a teacher, I can’t imagine myself replying to those desperate students who asked me questions in the middle of the night for their exam the next day because they didn’t study earlier. If I was to handle an online business, I can’t imagine myself replying to customers who text me whenever they want… it’s just impossible to me. This simple act of talking about work after work haunts me at night… I totally don’t want to live any moment of that.

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